Little has changed since my last post. Caregiving continues. The Day Job sputters. But I now rise at 2am—allowing myself three hours to work on my eternal novel project undisturbed. Or, mostly undisturbed. There’s always the cat.
I know it sounds crazy but that part of every day is mine. I plot out my schedule so I can be in bed early and not sabotage the tea and solitude with sleep. Every other hour I am running from task to task trying to keep loved ones fed, medicated, transported and comfortable.
It’s a strange role for me. I’ve never had kids so being responsible for others at this level is terrifying at times. And this path takes only one direction—from heartache to heartache.
But you have to find a place where you can set it all aside and still be you—if only just clinging to one tiny thread. If you can’t or don’t, you’ll diminish to the point of disappearing. And no longer be the fighter that your loved ones depend on.
See can what I’m working on via my writing blog: LDavisCarpenter.com